Neighbors

In the past few weeks both of our closest neighbors, those that lived on either side of us let us know they were moving. Yesterday, moving trucks appeared for the first of those families and we bid them goodbye, even though they are only relocating a few miles away. We weren't especially close; in fact none of our neighbors have been, at least not in the way I am accustomed. Growing up, and later in life when I lived in rural New Hampshire, neighbors were integral to our quality of life. We counted on each other for help from time to time, sometimes friendship and always support at good times and bad. Good neighbors are family in every sense of the word.

Living in a suburban community, and with age and lifestyle differences there is less reason to grow close. I know my closest neighbors by name, a little bit about their families and we chat from time to time about mostly superficial things: weather, lawns, and reliable craftsmen. Our kids are grown, theirs are still in school. I'm retired, they are still working. These and other differences separate us but there is more to it than that.

Folks are far more wary these days. Politics, religion and related subjects are a minefield that we are all aware lies just outside our door, so we carefully tiptoe around those topics and stick to the inconsequential. We aren't a tribe, and the very rare snowstorm or nor' easter are the only events that commonly affect us. I've always made it my business to help my neighbors, a habit that I learned early in life. Treat others as you would be treated. It is more than a golden rule, it is at some level about survival. Not that we are threatened by savage animals prowling around our caves, or warring bands of strangers, though that memory may lurk in our DNA . When I say survival I am speaking of our society, of humanity as a whole.

When we began thinking about our neighbors, the people who live with and among us as different--apart from us separated by beliefs, we moved closer to seeing them as less than, rather than equal. When we cease to regard our fellow human as someone less deserving of the same life we lead we break the only chain that binds us. And that is where we are today in much of the world, and increasingly in our country and communities. Polarized, suspicious, keeping our distance has become a norm for many as our natural instinct to see our neighbors as helpers and friends has given way to caution.

Instead of community of place, we have community of view--echo chambers on social media, and in the workplace or even the neighborhood. Yard signs during elections announce our affiliations, but more they identify those who may live close by us but aren't of the same persuasion. However we come to the opinion that someone is not like us, we have set one foot on a perilous downslope. It is true, that the only thing we may appear to have in common is living in close proximity, but that isn't the most important thing. What binds us as humans should be more than who we vote for, where we worship, or any other distinction. When we are no longer invested in the welfare of those around us, we are no longer invested in the human race.

It has always been this way. Humanity only flourished despite overwhelming odds by banding together--seeing each other's survival and prosperity as crucial to our own. Proximity made us neighbors but the instinct to preserve and protect each other built our civilization. We are presently engaged in a way of life that is tearing that fabric apart and whether we can arrest this decline into factions and fractions or once again regard one another as ourselves will tell the tale. Perhaps the place to begin is best expressed by the words Mr. Rogers greeted us with on his TV show when we were just children: Won't You Be My Neighbor?