Regret

Who of us at some moment or possibly throughout our lives has not felt regret? Whether minor or major, enduring or dismissed in a day regrets are the reflections that teach us to avoid missteps in our future. Some of us unfortunately require more than one lesson, and some regrets accompany us long after the cause has passed.

What then should we say about those who hold authority and have no regrets? Should we see them as resolute, infallible, omniscient? Does it inspire in us a picture of strength when a leader never admits error? These are not idle questions but the knife's edge of the divide that our country confronts on a daily basis.

And what should we say about ourselves on either side of that divide? Do we wish to drag our leaders down into the muck with the rest of us, tarnish their image and reduce them to mere mortals as some suggest? Or do we see the corruption and abject failure of humans who cannot accept their humanity and hold them accountable?

I used to think that the evidence was unequivocal; that every portrayal in life, in art, in history and story taught us that men and women of stature admitted their fallibility and accepted the world's judgement when they erred. Only the weak and small seemed incapable of seeing and accepting their flaws, only they lacked regret. I was not prepared for a new ideal, one so bereft of those qualities we typically admire as to defy human convention.

It is no secret that people model themselves on those they believe to be strong, wise, and beyond reproach. But from time to time, the script gets flipped upside down and an authority emerges that is none of these things, is the very antithesis of them all. Those that embrace such individuals seek approval no doubt, tacit permission by example to be and act themselves, free to express their latent prejudice and animus towards the world. Bullies and bigots are nothing new and to a person they never see themselves for who they are--the gene for self awareness is missing.

To be angry with another in the heat of a moment is one thing, and as humans it is one of our great weaknesses. Sustained hatred, denial of another's humanity, the loss of empathy or compassion is, however, more than a failing. It is why we created laws, and yes, punishments acknowledging that some of us some of the time will act without regard for others, will cross the line and cause great harm. But laws and punishments only work when the will of the people stands behind them. Unenforced, passively accepted infringements on the guarantees we have created to protect us from the lawless will only grow bolder and those incapable of regret will subject the world to their grasp of power and to their tyranny.

What are we to do in the face of such behavior? Resist, draw the line each and every time, encourage the weak and the disengaged to stand with us against every insult to our democracy, our freedoms, our humanity. And we must do one more thing, we must reject those who would rob us of our ability to regret. To admit that we have erred ourselves, that we may have caused harm or hurt is a gift. Regret keeps us humble and human, and we should never strive to be otherwise.