Explanations

Too much of anything is generally not welcome. It is certainly true when it comes to the subject of explanation. We want answers to many of life's mysteries, and sometimes to very ordinary things that are momentarily inexplicable, but we truly wish those who run on ad nauseam offering their precious insights would just be quiet. We even have names for those 'experts' who cannot take a hint and are intent on visiting their superior knowledge upon us. One such type is the mansplainer, a term that has more recently been conferred on an age old tendency of the male species to offer--often in a condescending manner, their belittling explication of all things they suppose are too complex for the feminine mind to grasp.

Although mansplaining is comical it betrays an underlying tendency on the part of all of us to offer explanation where none is requested or frankly desired. Perhaps you've found yourself in a circumstance where a friend or loved one is pouring out a frustration or sadness and you've been tempted to offer an aphorism, a solution, or an explanation. Please don't. At best it will fall on ears that wish they were temporarily deaf, at worst it will do nothing to assuage the feelings of those to whom these missives were directed. All any of us want at such moments is for someone to listen--just to truly listen.

If you must offer up some comment, the best you can do is to empathize, and by all means, in your desire to share and demonstrate your understanding, try not to make it all about you. Too often, commiseration becomes something quite different when it reveals a lack of self awareness.

This human tendency to assume expertise or knowledge beyond our capacities can be found in abundance of late and it is not strictly gender limited. A particular form of cognitive bias that many of us have likely evidenced at one time or another is closely related to something known as the Dunning Kruger effect. In simple terms, it occurs when someone with little ability--and I suggest little knowledge, over estimates their skills or expertise. You may have met such individuals, or like me, may be guilty of having gauged yourself more adept than practice proves true. An occasional lapse is just human frailty, a momentary lack of self awareness, but a consistent assumption of superior logic and skill is typically a sign of enduring incompetence.

A well known observation credited to Socrates, suggests that the only true wisdom is knowing we know nothing. It isn't a boast, but neither is it false humility. When we start from the assumption of ignorance we seek answers or guidance. It is a special form of listening that can help us uncover truths and reveal the self imposed distortions that unwittingly creep into our thoughts. To be clear, I am not suggesting we seek explanations, but rather information so that we can assemble an objective understanding.

In an age when anyone can pose as an expert on any subject, even without the benefit of AI guided knowledge, the miasma of half truths, untruths and just plain nonsense is overwhelming. A sure sign of ignorance is almost always the assertion that a speaker is the sole savant--the ultimate expert on a given subject. It is a particular form of hyperbole that we can frequently hear from the lips of the current administration. It should be a sign to us all that what follows is neither explanation nor truth but self delusion.