Black Friday

Ah yes, as we approach that sacred time of the year, AKA as Giftmas, it is time to reflect on the newly created day most special of all, Black Friday. In much the same way the greeting card industry manufactured Valentine's Day, shopkeepers everywhere have declared the day after Thanksgiving a time for shopping and general retail mayhem. And if one day is good, more are even better so it has now morphed into at least a week and soon I fear it may be the entire month. Enough of this giving thanks, let the games begin.

It used to be that all we had to endure was holiday creep, that affliction which signaled that stores could begin their Halloween decoration in August and Christmas in October, just in case any of us had forgotten about the impending joy. But as more shopping moved online, retailers had to find some way to get us to queue up. Now I miss camping in the freezing cold in front of a big box store as much as the next guy, but I must admit it is both warmer and more convenient to huddle before my keyboard, fingers poised, waiting on the signal to commence shopping.

I do miss the camaraderie of my fellow shoppers though. Someone needs to start a social media app for us where we can huddle in the buy-o-sphere waiting for sales to begin. Speaking of which, do any of us really think that these fantastic bargains are in fact terrific deals? I found one such item the other day, a gift for my grandson. It was precisely what he wanted, and seemingly marked down almost 75%--a steal for sure. But wait, that was before I made the purchase. Somewhere between my cart and my credit card company all manner of surcharges were applied for tax, shipping, a service fee, and a tip. Well maybe not a tip--but I fully expect that will happen one of these days as it has, it seems, with everything else I buy whether anyone helps me or not.

It has become a standard feature of these online sales to showcase an attractive, seemingly all time low price for Black Friday and its cousin, Cyber Monday, followed of course by Impoverished Tuesday. For days ahead of Black Friday my inbox and text app are inundated with messages of anticipatory hyperbole announcing impending doorbuster sales. It isn't precisely deceptive, but what they do not showcase is what car dealers like to call the 'Out The Door' price, as in what you will actually pay. Retailers have not missed the chance to emulate the shady practices of sleazy car salesmen, tacking on all sorts of add ons, everything from insurance against defects, or what we used to call a warranty, to loss and damage protection, and all kinds of hidden fees relating to shipment that can see the cost rise by tens of dollars. Heaven forbid one does not take advantage of the pre-sales sales and order early--the cost of last minute shipment will punish you accordingly.

Now if I seem a bit curmudgeonly I hope you will not think less of me. I do not put a price on gifts I give, but like everyone else right now I need to watch my pennies. Of course there won't be any pennies soon so with rounding up things will get more pricey. At this point I would remind us all that Christmas has nothing to do with shopping, that it is a time when we should be focused on family and friends and especially strangers who are going without. You can't put a price on charity, at least not yet. And please, don't forget to add a tip.