OCD

A friend of mine has a sign in her kitchen that says she suffers from CDO--Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but the letters are in the right order. I can relate. Admittedly, I prefer order over disorder, neatness over chaotic disarray, and it satisfies me to check things off of a list, accomplished and done. Maybe I am borderline OCD, or CDO or whatever.

Back in the day when I still wrote computer code I learned to hold a complex set of thoughts in my head--a picture of the entirety of what I was creating while at the same time where and how the piece I was currently working on fit in the entirety of the whole. It is a bit like juggling and it requires a good deal of focus and attention but once you get in the groove it flows seamlessly --that is until someone or something interrupts and all the balls come crashing down. Being a bit OCD actually helps.

There is power and beauty in the natural un-ordered world and there is also something pleasant in symmetry and a cultivated, well curated experience. The natural wildflower fields of California are every bit as alluring as the gardens of Versailles--different to be sure but equally compelling. But for some reason we humans feel the need to place things in one camp or the other--to argue simplicity vs complexity, for the individual vs the community, for large vs small, for less vs more. I could go on but you get the point. We are constantly demarcating and choosing sides--this is right that is wrong even when no one asked us to do so.

In truth the number of things that we need to occupy ourselves thinking about in this binary contest are far fewer than we think--although they are ultimately the only important things we need to be clear about. What are they? Our principles--the things that matter so much we are prepared to defend them at any cost. Our ethical/moral stance--the bright line that defines us--not anyone else and not at the expense of anyone else. Our love and respect for others--not just family or friends but all others--the regard we hold for all humanity. These are the things about which we should be compulsive, and they are the things we should be pre-occupied thinking about--not political divisions, not power or wealth, or position.

It is all too easy to get sucked into the maelstrom of other people's obsessions--their divisions and biases--their arguments for or against and forget that much of what occupies their thoughts are foolish distinctions, manufactured differences--meaningless oppositions crafted to keep us viewing each other in a competitive and deeply prejudiced dislike. Not everyone of course, not every day but often enough that finding one's center, regaining one's balance takes some effort.

Sorting out what is worth defending--what is essential and crucial to us as human beings takes focus and attention--a little like juggling. When you are in the flow you need not concern yourself with the extraneous-but let your attention slip away, get pulled into the whirlpool of dissension and all the balls come crashing down. It may be juggling indeed, but let's try to keep things in the air instead of falling down.