An experience I had recently got me thinking about scarcity and abundance. These two conditions, at face value, seem to be polar opposites, but a more nuanced look at how they play out in our lives and relationships suggests something different.
Perhaps the most obvious way we think about scarcity and abundance is in the context of money. Unless you were born into wealth, you’ve probably experienced scarcity. Now I am not talking at the moment about poverty—although I want to take that up later. But most of us have at one time or another simply had less than we needed to do the things we had to or wanted to do. It doesn’t take much, however, to change our perspective, if even for the near term. Should we come into a little, say from a tax refund, a small inheritance, or some other source we suddenly feel a bit more expansive; our worries are for the time being put aside while we experience a sense of abundance. Likewise, a sudden turn in our fortunes—unexpected expenses, a downturn in our financial well-being plunges back into scarcity thinking.
The key here is thinking. A number of scholarly studies have shown that relatively modest changes in our financial status can result in disproportionate fluctuations in our sense of security. But perhaps a better way to view this is to look at people who are materially impoverished. In places where people may live on an amount that is a tiny fraction of the poorest citizen in our own country we can find families that are joyful and optimistic about their lives in spite of their lack of those things we regard as essential. I am not saying everything is relative, basic needs notwithstanding most of us understand that money alone does not purchase an essential sense of happiness and well-being, that comes from within us.
This same paradox exists in our relationships. At times we see scarcity and abundance thinking in how we view our emotional wealth. When people are in a committed relationship; one in which the partners are invested in one another and able to love unselfishly, we see abundance. In contrast, in fractured relationships, those that are perennially on the edge of or are already unravelling, scarcity thinking rules.
How we see ourselves and others in relation to us very much depends on our sense of security about our relationship. When scarcity thinking dominates, we can become needy, or withholding. Both actions are a response to the belief that we have lost or are unable to get enough of what we want and need to be ‘happy’ and fulfilled. We should know better. The love and affirmation we seek comes first from within us. We determine our emotional response to the conditions of happiness and optimism or despair, rejection and pessimism. And how we respond emotionally can lead us deeper into relationship, to what we want, or sunder the bonds.
Indeed, our entire world view turns on scarcity and abundance thinking. When we worry about the future; are burdened by cares too great for us to carry, we are operating from a scarcity perspective. When we believe that we do not walk alone; but are accompanied by that higher being within us, we live in the present and our cares, though they may be significant, are not ours alone to carry. Perhaps you are familiar with that bit of scripture that talks about the value God places on even the sparrow, or the lilies of the field, and how much more he cares for his children. Those who truly believe this and place their trust in that higher self to guide them, see abundance everywhere. They are grateful for all the blessings they have received in their lives and are aware that whatever trials they may face today, the outcome will be positive. Lacking this perspective, we are left to our own devices as the threats to our material and emotional security lead us further into scarcity.
We have a choice to make. We cannot always alter events or circumstances around us, but we can always choose how we wish to view them, and how we choose will decide the real outcome. Operate with a sense of abundance and gratitude and your life will be filled to overflowing. Choose scarcity and there will never be an end to your cares.
It’s not at all easy to face adversity with gratitude instead of fear, don’t let me suggest otherwise. But the choice is clear for me. My life has been filled with countless blessings, my cup is overflowing and yours can be too.