Have you ever found yourself wishing you could have a second chance, a get out of jail card, a do-over? It would be surprising if that weren’t the case. Most of us have at one time or another. We are after all human, and therefore flawed. We make mistakes—sometimes serially. A wise person once said that life tends to administer the test and only later do we get the lesson. It’s proven only too true in my life. And sometimes I don’t quite get the lesson clear until I have made the same mistake more than once. The very fact that I get to make the same mistake more than once, however says a lot about do-overs. It seems we do get second chances—to get it right, or not.
When I’ve made mistakes, it is almost always traceable to a single cause. I did not listen to that inner voice, that higher self. Instead I did what ‘I’ wanted or desired. On some level I knew better, but the siren song of willfulness was more powerful in the moment than my intellect and trust. Often the consequences of my decisions led me to some unhappiness and unfortunately caused the same for others—though I cannot say that I sought such an outcome. But nonetheless there are real consequences to our actions and they can cause hurt or pain for others however much we do not intend it. But just like me, those I may have harmed also got a do over, for better or worse, and just like me they had an opportunity to salvage good from the ashes of my mistakes. That does not make me any less responsible, but it speaks directly to the point; we have within us the ability to move to higher ground despite what may have transpired in our past, and even those who may have suffered for our errors get the same opportunity.
How do you move to higher ground? For me the lesson is always the same one—listen to that higher being that dwells within me—you know, the one I refer to as God. When I do, even though I may be scared, weak in my trust, or doubtful, the outcome will be good. I unfailingly find myself in a better place than I could ever have imagined.
You would think after all these years I would know this—truly know it so completely that I’d never make a mistake again. You would be wrong. It is still hard for me to hear that voice at times and I still wrestle with discerning what is my will for me and what that higher self wants. But I have learned one thing. When in doubt, stop, listen, and wait. The right path will unfold. It doesn’t always do so immediately. To be frank, it sometimes takes a lot longer than I’d like. I am not infinitely patient.
It is hard to overcome our past, and the knowledge of false steps can paralyze us or even steer us in the wrong direction. I have to remind myself that the only one standing in judgement of me is the person I see in the mirror. When those moments come, I need to remember how many times I have been saved from myself, how many times I have found forgiveness, and how many times I have gone on to put things right.
That’s where faith comes in. Faith, or trust that what I have learned is true and real is my Polestar. Often, I have to make a leap –a leap of faith, to overcome my instincts, intellect, or sheer willfulness. As I have written before, life’s lessons are not always obvious, and we may need more than one try to gets things right. But we should know that the second chance is always there. So, the next time you find yourself wishing for a Mulligan, remind yourself it’s already done. Stop, breathe deeply, focus on what you know to be true and take the swing.