As tropes go, the reveal has to be the most overdone feature of every DIY show on Television. We sit impatiently through the commercial break that almost always precedes this anticipatory moment anxious to see the transformation from hovel to palace, junk car to stretch limo, or ugly duckling to stunning beauty. Our fascination with these moments is understandable. Don’t we all wish that in the space of less than an hour we could make over something in our lives?
Don’t get me wrong, I like these shows as much as anyone. There is something very pleasing about creating order out of chaos or restoring something neglected. If only we could do this in real life. Unfortunately, reality TV isn’t real. It is a carefully staged show designed to hold our attention for a short amount of time and induce in us the belief that what a team of dozens accomplished over many weeks or even months, we can do ourselves –in our spare personal moment.
Perhaps you can guess where I am headed with this. If it is hard work to remodel a home or restore a car, it is many times more difficult to re-make anything about ourselves. Yet, most of us can relate to the desire to transform some aspect of our lives. What stops us is the same thing that thwarts many would be do-it-yourselfers. Make no mistake about it, a great deal of hard work was involved in creating what is revealed in a few minutes time, and our impatient desire to get to the reveal stands between us and meaningful transformation.
It is almost trite to say that we live in a time of instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it now. But no drone delivery service is likely to offer instant transformation. That requires patience and perspective from us. These are the tools with which we can remodel and restore what we have been hoping for. And what is that, you might ask? It is dis-satisfaction with something in our lives. It could be physical, our weight, looks, a bad habit; or it could be emotional. We may not be happy about something in our relationships or feel that life has dealt us some unfortunate cards. Maybe it’s our work. Perhaps we have not attained what we desired in our careers or earned the sums we once expected.
Whatever the source of our dis-satisfaction, there is one thing in common. We feel that changing our circumstance is impossible, or at the least daunting. It is hard to imagine the reveal because all we can see is the long road we must travel to get to our desired destination. That’s where patience comes in. Perhaps I might say it another way, perseverance. We know the transformation is going to take time, our job is to persevere, no matter what adversity we encounter. In my favorite home makeover shows there is always that moment when we discover that the entire electrical system has to be replaced, or the wood behind the walls is riddled with termites. There will be surprises, no doubt, and not all of them will be pleasant. But if we are fixed on the outcome, the big reveal, then we can steel ourselves to the pain of the moment and keep moving toward our goal. How do we do that? Well it requires perspective. To keep on my makeover analogy, it is only after the demolition work has been done that our makeover team can see the lovely bones of the house and begin the process of bringing it back to life. So it is with us. Once we have begun the process of working on ourselves, we are demolishing the old ways. It can be like taking a sledge hammer to a part of our lives, but once we have done so, we have cleared the way for something much better. It helps to look back—to gain perspective on where we have come from. Success may be modest day to day but over time we can see that despite any hidden surprises or setbacks there is real progress.
In the end, it is all about the big reveal. The day we can look back and recognize how far we have come. We have changed our lives for the better. We can feel it, and those around us can too. Now, let me reveal a secret. Doing this on your own, while not impossible, is tremendously difficult. Even the hosts of the makeover shows have dozens of behind the scenes helpers. So do you. Your friends, family, those that care for you will help if you’ll let them. And you have the greatest helper of all who dwells within you. God, that higher self I write about in these posts is always standing by ready to step in and help. He is willing to pick up the load and work beside you, anytime day or night, all you have to do is ask.